kanye-west-magical-anus-quest:
People have been waiting for over 300 years to date Princess Bubblegum
That means…
THAT VERY WELL MAY OF BEEN PB IN SIMON AND MARCY
(via mydarlingrainbow)
(Source: laughburnscalories, via lemony30)
[TW: CISSEXISM, TRANSMISOGYNY INCLUDING TRANSMISOGYNISTIC SLURS]
- on pink slime “Yes, LFTB because our beef now has so many hormones it’s a member of the transgendered community.” (“So I just want to get out in front of this and say that I, Stephen Colbert, apologize to any of my transgender bovine viewers that may have been offended.”)
- “That’s why, fellas, always look for the adams apple! That’s a pro tip. Then, look for the adam’s penis”
- “Nation, President Elect, Obama is meeting every day with his transition team, or in beltway lingo, ‘tr***ies’.”
- “But these days, chewing gum is as supple and flamboyant as a Saigon Ladyboy.”
- “Oh, and the next time you’re waltzing with Matilda, you might wanna check out her adam’s apple, ‘cause she’s a dude!”
- “I’m not talking tasteful private ceremonies, I’m talking parades with floats, throbbing disco music, and sh*m**es tying the knot on preschool playgrounds!”
- “Now, I already an advance copy of the Deathly Hallows and Spoiler alert: Hermione’s a dude…”
- “If you ask me, we can’t trust any of these tr***ies.”
- “You see, I didn’t come here to criticize anyone. I came here to praise one man, one Her-man. Important note: a her-man is not the same as a sh*m**e.”
- “Gee, I wonder how a man called “Hilary” became so obsessed with names… …but, what would this limey sh*m**e have us call the war on terror instead?”
- “I believe that “the Man” is keeping the California republicans down. And, being from California, “the Man” is probably a tr***y.”
- “So, was this just a simple case of a panda that was a female and all along was misidentified due to the breed’s ambiguous sexual characteristics, or is the simpler answer that we’ve got a tr***y panda? Now, I never thought I’d give advice to bears, but here you go. Chinese pandas, here’s how you can tell the difference: if you show up to your breeding pen and your lady’s got a an adam’s apple and big paws, get the hell out of there!”
- “Left to their own devices, these brave young souls could fall prey to some very dangerous characters…” cuts to clips of Sex and the City “…by which I mean tr***ies.”
- “Now, we’ve all been fooled by these tr***y reptiles before…You’re out in the desert with a few friends having a few drinks. You see a lizard sunning itself on a rock. You go over to strike up a conversation. The lizards plays it cool, doesn’t respond. So you drink more to fill the awkward pauses. Next thing you know, you’re back at her place and suddenly you realize what you’re caressing isn’t a cloaca, it’s an enlarged femoral pore! And you just get the hell out of there! Or so I have read.”
- “C’mon democratic party. Play along! If your party does not implode, we’ll have to go with our backup scandal. Ed Rendell is a tr***y!” (screen shows photoshopped image of Ed Rendell) “Hello! I thought we were going to put up a picture of Ed Rendell, not this lovely lady right here.”
- “To get this protection these fair-weather-females and fence-sitting-fellas will have to identify themselves. They will no longer shock and confuse young reporters on assignment in a new town who happen to appreciate ladies with big hands.”
- “Oh, you mean the place of Queens…I thought maybe you were gonna reveal something! that perhaps we had a sh*m**e on our hands, here.”
- This tweet
- “But, here’s my biggest problem: this race was for female leatherback turtles. What kind of girl’s name is Billy? Ok. Know what I think, folks? Billy is a dude! A turtle tr***y! You can tell by the size of the flippers. And the adam’s apple. Trust me, I’ve been burned too many times. Evidently, I am not alone. They are a menace! Here’s my theory. While Stephanie and all of the other real gals were actually laying eggs on the beach in their nests, Billy fooled the judges by popping ping-ping balls out of his behind. And now he wants a trophy! Well, your little crying game is up, William! No no no, I demand that race officials verify the sex of this turtle, by checking the concavity of its plastron! Oh yeah, I’ve done my research. I do the same thing to all of my dates. And if that plastron is not concave, I am out of there.”
- Colbert: Is there a difference between male-bodied and male, or female-bodied and female?
Ketchup: Not all people with female bodies identify as women.
Colbert: So, if I meet somebody down there who says they’re a woman—
Ketchup: mmmhmm
Colbert: —I could be in for a rude surprise? Because they may not be female-bodied?
- Colbert: Like What? What? What kind of jobs?
- Cartwright: Like transient farm working jobs.
Colbert: I don’t care what sex they are, as long as the pick my vegetables.
The Oklahoma City Chief medical examiner now confirming the death toll has now risen to 51 in the Moore, Oklahoma. The NWS preliminarily rated the tornado an EF-4, with winds of up to 200 mph. Hospitals are treating more than 120 patients, including about 70 children For the latest photos, videos and news coverage click the link below:
http://www.thegailygrind.com/2013/05/20/watch-catastrophic-mile-wide-tornado-levels-the-city-of-moore-oklahoma-south-of-oklahoma-city-and-killed-at-least-10-people/
:[
(Source: thegailygrind)
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view,…
(Source: flyingscotsman)
hasn’t been on my dash for a while, i love this so much, i don’t know why, i don’t like reblogging images of self harm, but this this has a meaning to it, i’m not sure what as there are so many possibilities this is just beautiful
i think it’s showing how someone so graceful and beautiful can also be hurting on the inside. that the people you would least expect could prove you wrong
this is the most perfect thing I have seen in my life. My favorite photo on tumblr, it gave me goosebumps.
(Source: fuckloveandsanity, via tasteless)
i just made some sort natural of mp3 player charger??? using only fruits and copper and and it worked
i mean
look at this fucking thing
IT’S CHARGING
you’re either a complete genius
or
you should be burnt at the stake…so should i start carrying fruits with me to class so i can charge my ipad?
i swear if we didn’t spent so much time on tumblr we could really change the world forever
(Source: richiepreacher, via mooninmypalm)
(Source: ohyeahcevans, via mariathegirlwhofangirled)
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via megawackowack)
nicki in the background
oHMYGOD taylor’s like “i feel you bro you call them out on their shit” and nicki’s like “gurl he means you”
does anyone else see the guy way back there. that guy that suddenly appears and points at taylor
(via lemony30)
At first I was like “oh some guy being a really awesome athlete” AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING AT
I spent ten minutes trying to work out why there was a face coming out of his stomach
(via tasteless)
If you don’t love British tv you’re wrong.
I don’t even think acting was required.
(Source: raisedsherlockfromperdition, via lemony30)
well this is rEALLY FUCKING CUTE.
IT’S THE CUTEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER SEEN.
(via amcraviotospeaks)
my apartment could use a floppy disk coffee table.
remote? try stash
(via kickedthe-hornetsnest)
